I decided to start the whole blogging thing again. I blogged all through high school on Xanga... blogged through college on myspace. But I don't really use myspace anymore so I stopped blogging there. I thought I was done with the whole blogging thing.... but I miss it. It just feels good to write your thoughts down. I tend to have lots to say about so much random ish... and it never seems to come out in order. I'm just writing, spewing out my thoughts. Not worrying about grammer, spelling, punctuation, putting ellipses where they don't belong.................
I should be sleeping right now, since I have to wake up in about 5 hours, but I can't sleep. This whole situation is REALLY getting to me. I see the SAME people EVERYDAY. You see, I'm in med school... in a not so great location. It makes it very hard to meet people outside of school. The people in this town are very weird... so you have to drive almost an hour before things are normal. Which also means there are NO eligible bachelors. I've been single for about a year now, which also means it's been a year since i've had... well you know. All this studying, no man, and classmates that you get tired of seeing just gets so frustrating.
Even some people that I thought were cool/genuine... do things that make me realize that they can't be trusted. At first I thought OMG I love all of these people. Lets all be bffs forever!!!!! I went around giving everyone hugs like everyday....... but all that has ended. Med school is high school all over again. seriously. sooooo much drama.
I guess you could say that I'm a very intuitive person. I'm one of those highly sensitive people that analyzes and observes every little thing. I usually notice things that other people don't. It's like I can see under the surface. I know I may sound like retarded or whatever but I'm for real. I'm hoping this skill will make me a better physician. lol. Be able to diagnose patients without them telling me whats wrong. ha! But anyways... I noticed that everytime I told a certain someone about things going on in my life, they had this attitude about them that let me know that they didnt care all that much. But it was totally ok with me. I have a few very close friends... and I trust them up to a certain point. Not that I have trust issues... I've just learned from that you can't put to much trust in others.... because they WILL dissapoint you. I don't even trust myself, cuz I dissapoint myself sometimes. Can only trust God.
i'm happy with my life. I might whine and complain sometimes.... but ultimately I'm thankful for all that I've been blessed with.
hmmmm I should probably get some sleep.
Nite
