Bob

Just had a really weird conversation with someone. Let's say his name is Bob. Bob goes to the church I attend while I'm at school. He has a son, and has been divorced for about a year now. He's Yoruba, and reminds me of a burnt salamander.

So yesterday there was a church event at one of our sister churches, so my parents traveled down to attended. Well Bob was there and he said hi to me while I was with my mom. So I was like hey, this is my mom, and mommy this is Bob. My dad came up and I introduced them. I thought nothing of it because I always introduce my friends to my parents. Welllll, Bob took this "introduction" to a WHOLE new level.

Few hours ago, I got a facebook chat message from him about how surprised/shocked he was that I introduced him to my parents. I was like, okay? so what?

Well then he calls me and say that he's been admiring me for awhile and that since I introduced him to my parents, that gave him the go-ahead to pursue me further. (at this moment I was thinking DAMN!)

So he proceeds to tell me how he couldn't take his eyes off me yesterday and that he was watching me shake it. He also made comments about the size of my rear end. Keep in mind that we were AT CHURCH!!!! I didn't even know what to say! I was shocked. He should be praying and worshiping God, not staring at my behind!

He asked me if I would go out to lunch or dinner with him, and I lied and told him I was busy.

Why is it that the ratchet dudes that I DON'T want are always the ones approaching me?

Hi

Currently eating spicy Doritos and ice cream. I'm NOT pregnant (I'm 4,000% sure). I just felt like eating it. It's very good by the way. "Ijekuje!!"- that's what my mom would say.

I only have 2 more interviews left. I canceled 2, and I might cancel one more. 

One thing I HATE about these interviews is writing thank-you notes/emails. I think it's stupid. I just send emails, because I don't have time to hand write them and mail them. I HATE it. I forgot to send thank you emails to one of the programs I interviewed at over a month ago. Well, actually, I didn't forget. I just don't want to do it because I don't plan on ranking the program anyway. Wurreva.

So.

There's this dude. I think he's cute, but our encounters are always kind of awkward. When I try to talk to him he doesn't seem interested, and then when HE tries to talk to ME I get irritated. I dunno. Yesterday I noticed he was online so I decided to send him a chat message.

Me: Hey **** how r u?
Him: (hours later) Hi.

I didn't like that response. Just Hi? If I ask how you are doing, I expect you to tell me how you are doing! He didn't even ask how I was doing. So I came to the conclusion that he's just not that into me. I didn't even reply him. Moving on.

Thanksgiving!

* Singing* I just want to say, Baba o, E seeeeeeee eeee eeee eee eee!

I really enjoyed this year's Thanksgiving.

God has done sooooo much for me. Sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much mehn!

No worries at all at all.

Just food, family and friends.

: )

I looove me some Baba Ara. This is one of my fav songs by him, and it's perfect for a day like this.

Ore riri je, ore riri mu, ore i'dasimi, ore alafiaaaaaaa...... Oluwa o se fun mi o Baba!

hmmmmm

I have this weird feeling.

I just need to be patient and pray.

Interviews!!!!!!!!

 So residency interview season has started!!!

I went on my 3rd interview yesterday, and I have my 4th next week. So far so good.

It's definitely an exciting process. It's nice because the field I'm going into is great because they provide us with hotel accommodations, free dinners, free breakfast, free lunch. I looove it! So I've really been enjoying. However, I'm kind of already tired. It gets exhausting because you interview with 3-6 people and you have to tell each person about yourself,  and you have to keep thinking of question to ask them.

Program #1 was great, and I actually liked it much more than I expected too. It's in a location that's about 1.5 to 2 hrs away from home, and the city isn't all that great, but I really liked the program along with the residents, faculty, and facilities.

Program #2 has been removed from my list and I've decided not to rank it at all. I reeeeally wanted to  like it because it's so close to home (like 20 minutes away), but I just know it's not the place for me. I just didn't feel comfortable there and the residents were kind of weird to me.

Program #3 was good. I also like this program much more than expected. They have most of what I am looking for, and the residents and faculty were also cool.

Program #4 is next week, which is actually at my current medical school. I'm not looking forward to it. I know I don't want to stay another 3-4 years in the same place. I'm only interviewing at my school because I felt it was the nice thing to do. I'm always around these people when there are school events, so it would be kind of awkward trying to explain why I wasn't applying to my own school's program. Oh well. I don't plan on ranking it anyway.

Program #5 is about 1-1.5 hrs away from home. This seems like it's a program I will like. This interview will be in December.

Program #6 this is 3 hrs from home. I really like the program, but I really don't want to be this far from home. I'll be interviewing there in 2 weeks.

Program #7 I'm actually going to cancel this one. I'm pretty sure this program will be a lot like program #2, so I don't even want to waste my time. I only applied because it's like 20 minutes from my parent's house.

Program #8  I don't think I want to go here. I've met the directors here a few times and they are so nice, so I feel I have to interview here. I do not want to LIVE in this city, but I really want to VISIT again. So I'm at least going to take advantage of the free food and free hotel. But it IS possible that i might cancel.

Program #9 I'm going to cancel this one too. Don't like the city or the program. Only applied because I was told to apply to at least 10 programs.

Program #10 Didn't get an interview invitation from them. Doesn't matter to me because I think it's a bootleg program, and I really don't want to be in this city. I also prefer unopposed programs and this is not one, so yea. Again, I only applied here because I was told to apply to at least 10.

I should be done with interviews in early January. Maybe sooner if I actually cancel some of them.


At one of my interviews, I met this CRAZY oyinbo girl. They always tell us what NOT to do at an interview and I've always felt like they were common sense tips. Well, almost everything this girl did was an example of what NOT to do. She showed up 20 min late to the night before dinner. She was 10 min late on interview day. At the night before dinner she stuck her nasty spit-covered spoon in the residents desert because she wanted to taste it. At lunch on interview day, she used her bare hands to scoop up fried calamari crumbs, she licked her fingers and put them BACK in the bowl SEVERAL times! It was soooo gross. Everyone was giving her the side eye. She can do all that stuff with her friends, but she is in a PROFESSIONAL setting!!!! And then she would make the most OFF THE WALL comments and tell the most inappropriate stories! It was sooooo hard for me to keep a straight face, but I had to remember that I was being watched too. I don't know what was going on in this girls mind, but I do wish her the best of luck.

Wish List

Sooo, I was just thinking about what I want for Christmas. These are things that I KNOW I will NOT get unless I meet a rich guy that will shower me with gifts. Or if my parents happen to win the lottery.

1. Mercedes GLK 350 - Sapphire Grey Metallic
2. Bottega Veneta Bag- Ebano parachute bag or Nero Nappa tote or Moro nappa Roma bag
3. New MacBook- mine is falling apart and the battery stopped charging so I have to keep it plugged in all the time
4. Christian Louboutin Pigalle 120mm in black (for graduation)
5. AND a pair of David Yurman earrings

 And that's it!!! Not too bad right? Ha!

I've been getting so irritated lately. My patience is wearing thin. My family has even made comments that I'm not as nice as I used to be. I blame med school. There's something about med school that sucks the life out of you.  I still love medicine, and I'm excited for my future career, but I don't really know how to explain it. I don't think I've changed significantly, but I do notice a change. I know I'm able to say NO!! more often. I speak my mind more often, and I'm not afraid to be a little rude. Now that I think about it, I think I've just learned to stand up for myself a little bit more, which is important as a physician.

Whatever.

Gotta go!

Soooo just had an interesting night.

Was on my way home and traffic on the highway was reeeeeally bad. My dumb self decided to drink several bottles of water before I headed home. I had to pee sooooo bad!!!!!! I kept thinking "the traffic has to clear up at some point so I can speed home." But NOPE! I even needed to exit and get to a gas station since I was almost out of gas. But I thought I could make it. Right when I passed the exit I realized I couldn't hold it anymore, and the next exit was at least a mile away. I thought about pulling to the median and peeing on the side of the freeway but I kept going. I even thought about peeing on myself, but I was in a rental car with cloth seats (If they were leather, I probably would have peed on myself!). I FINALLY got to the next exit and headed for the nearest parking lot. I knew I couldn't make it to the gas station. I parked and popped a squat and peed. There were even cars passing by and I DID NOT CARE!!! I realized I was right across from an Everest College with a crowd of people outside. I even had on my favorite pair of Paige denim jeans and I peed on the bottom of them, but I DID NOT CARE!!!!! Whoooooo I was sooooooo relieved!!!!

Then I headed to the the nearest gas station to get gas. As I was pumping gas some African guy came up to me and asked if I knew where he could find Mary Jane's African restaurant. I had no idea what he was talking about. I had never heard of a restaurant by that name in our area. I asked him what street it was on, but he didn't reply. I even Googled the name on my phone and nothing came up. I noticed that he was looking around, and he seemed kind of nervous. Well, as I pulled away from the gas station, I started to wonder if he was asking me for drugs. Mary Jane? I'm not sure, but who knows?

Not for me

I'm back home with my family for the month. I'm doing an away rotation in a dermatology clinic. We don't get much exposure to derm so I thought this would be a good chance to learn some new things that may help me in the future.

Well, I HATE dermatology. I think it's boring. They only care about the skin! The doctor I worked with today saw 50 patients between 7 and 12 pm. 50 PATIENTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! in a HALF DAY!!!!!! I'm used to seeing 35 or so patients between 8 and 5pm in internal/fam med/pedi clincs.

Also, I only work 3 half days a week. Nice, but I still don't like it. I found that I kept asking patients about their other medications, diabetes, hypertension, arthritis, and everything else besides their skin. Instead of walking around with a stethoscope, you walk around with a can of liquid nitrogen. When patients had other things going on, the staff was totally clueless. They didn't remember that klonopin was a benzodiazepine, and they didn't remember that metformin could be used for PCOS. This lets me know for sure that family medicine is the place for me. I love family medicine because it's a little bit of everything. I have no problem incorporating derm procedures into my practice, but I'd be unhappy if derm was my only focus. In fact, there were quite a few cases that I felt could have been managed by the primary care physician, but whatever.  Yea, they make more money, but money isn't everything. What matters is that I've picked a career path that makes me happy.

O.M.G.

Oh my goodness!

So I'm totally feeling much better today, back to my happy dancing self.

I get out of the shower and I see a missed call from my dad.

I call back and he says he wants to talk to me about something my sister told them.

So yesterday I told my sister that I was feeling a little down about my no boo situation. Well my sister decided to tell my parents! And my dad says "your sister said that you were sad ALLLLL day after you heard that so and so is pregnant and because you are not married yet." What!? All day? That was NOT the case. I was sad for like 20 minutes! My family is very close and we tell each other almost everything. Thank goodness I didn't tell my sister that I was crying. So my dad went on and on and on and on telling me stuff I've heard several times. I was soooo embarrassed. But I do appreciate that they called to check up on me.

"Be strong, okay"- this is what my dad said before he hung up. haha

I love my family.

Tears

I don't even know...

Tears are falling down my face as I right this. I'm not sure I even understand why I'm crying.

Everything has been going soo well. I've been feeling the happiest I've ever felt in a long time. Everyday I've been singing, dancing and praising God for all that he has done in my life.

And now all of a sudden crying tears of frustration.

Well, I got news that a guy I used to be involved with is having a baby. He's been married for almost 2 years now, and it's been well over 3 years since I've seen him last. I don't like him, I don't love him, and it's not that I miss him. But when I got the news that his wife was expecting, I got warm all over, my heart started to beat faster, and the tears just started to fall.


I'm still single.


I don't even know how to explain what I am feeling inside.


I don't know. I'm ashamed and disappointed in myself for allowing this to upset me.


I'll get over it, I refuse to let this get me down.


My heart is in God's hands, and my time will come.

I Refuse!!!!

This is my new motto.

I REFUSE!!!!

I refuse to be mad, sad, angry, frustrated, depressed, or negative about anything in my life. God has done so much for me, and I have been blessed in so many ways. I have NO reason to feel negatively about anything in my life.

Today in clinic, we had so many patients with soooo many issues. Chronic illness, poverty, death, chronic pain, I mean the list goes on. I thank God that I am in good health, and that my family and friends are in good health. I'm thankful for everything in my life.

When I left clinic today I had to walk an extra 10 minutes to get to my car, and it was hot, and I was looking a hot greasy mess, and my back was hurting, and I was hungry and getting grouchy. I quickly realized I had no REAL reason to be whining. So I quickly said to myself "I REFUSE!!!" I refuse to let such a spirit take over me. Instead, I should give thanks always and continue to praise God for all that he's done for me.

so yes...

I REFUSE!!!

I dunno

Well.

I think I mentioned this person before. I called her "Tammy." Well I've been trying to avoid this person for awhile. We were like bffs during my 1st year of med school and through a portion of my 2nd year. Well, she's not the greatest person, and I  learned this the hard way. I just didn't like how I felt around her and wanted her out of my life completely. So lately I've been avoiding her. For a time I even blocked her calls and texts. I don't know what happened but this person would just make me SOOO angry. Just seeing her facebook picture would make me think mean thoughts. I remember I wanted to tell her that I didn't want to be her friend anymore, but my parents told me not to. They said that was not the Christian thing to do.

I just didn't want to be around her anymore. When I decided I didn't want to be around her, simply running into her around town would instantly raise my blood pressure. I would just get mad, and it was like I was ready to fight at any second.

Well a few days ago she sent me a message about how she missed me and wanted to hang out, and wanted to know if I was still in town. I didn't respond. I was determined to let this girl KNOW that I didn't want to be her friend anymore. I didn't care if I was mean. I didn't care about her feelings. I just DIDN'T CARE!!!

I told my sister, and she said I was wrong for that. I told my mom, and she ALSO said I was wrong for that. She said it was not right for me to ignore her and try to avoid her. It would be different if she never called/contacted me again. But for the fact that she was still trying to be my friend, my family said I was wrong.

This made me ANGRY. Why was I ALWAYS the one that had to be nice. She was bad to me, so why couldn't I be bad to her? I know she doesn't truly care about my well being, so why the heck should I care about her? I have NEVERRRRR felt this way toward someone, and I felt I was allowed to be mean to someone at least once in my life.

But my family kept telling me it's not the Christian way. 

I remember listening to a sermon about unfruitful people in your life, and how they can negatively impact you. So I felt that this person was indeed unfruitful, so why couldn't I cut her out of my life? Isn't that what God would want me to do? This is something I really struggle with. I have been praying and asking God for guidance on the matter, but I just get so ANGRY and it's hard for me to let go of that anger.

I dunno.

9 years!!!!!!

I know a girl who has been dating a guy for 9 years! Well, she's not a girl, she a woman in a her late 20s. I don't think I could do that. 9 YEARS!!! Things looked a little iffy, and it didn't really look like their relationship was going towards marriage. By looking at them together I felt that if they DID get married it would probably end in divorce. I know that is a horrible thing to say, but I'm being honest. This lady is very beautiful inside and out, smart, hard-working, and with a good career. The guy is...... ummm eh. When I first met her I thought she was sooo fabulous, definitely a role model. I remember seeing some scraggly dude with her, and when she introduced him as her boyfriend I was like "noooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!." I met her about 2 years ago and she was ready for him to put a ring on it. Now they broke up. There is nooooooo way I would be able to stay in a relationship that long without some promise of marriage. 9 freaking years!!!!!! AH AH!!!

I mean I understand that there are special circumstances. Sometimes you're too young, or sometimes you're still in school, or maybe it's a long distance thing.

For example, I have an aunty who went to school to become a doctor of pharmacy. Her husband also was in medical school. They met in their late 20s and were also a little late to go to school and get their degrees. These two dated for a looooooong time.  However everyone knew they were going to get married. The minute they finished school, they got married and had a son.

I was watching Say Yes to the Dress on TLC, and I saw a 50 something year old bride that had been engaged for almost 25 years!!!!!  They had lots of problems and illness in the family and they kept pushing back their wedding. CRAZY!!!!!

My goodness!!!!

I think it's different if you KNOW that you two are going to get married, as opposed to one person in the relathionship HOPING that there will be a proposal.

I told my mom and she said it's because the guy is an Akata (the girl is Nigerian). I'm not even gonna go there. lol.

GUESS WHAT!

They're back together again. Yes. For the 4th time. Why do I care? I really don't. I'm just bored and find it interesting to check up on them.  Pathetic? Yes, I'm pathetic. haha

~*~*~*~
I don't know what it is... but I really struggle with keeping my apartment clean. It always amazes my how many dishes and pots I use. Things just end up all over the place. I think I need a bigger place. My closet is DEFINITELY too small. I think that if my closet were bigger I would have less clothes, shoes, purses and such in random places in my apartment. My closet is one of those small old school closets with the sliding mirrors. And I have a TON of clothes. I've tried keeping some under my bed in storage. I have storage bins in my room. I even bought this shelf thing to put more clothes on. I've even had to take some of my clothes back home to make more room. Conclusion: I NEED A BIGGER CLOSET!!

My kitchen is also too small. No counter top space at all. And my bathroom doesn't have enough storage space. I have a pedestal sink, which I love, but I think it would be better if I had an actual counter top. I just need more space. OH! and I NEEEEEEEEED a dishwasher. I realized that I HATE washing dishes! I dunno, maybe I'm just getting lazier. I'm ready to move.

~*~*~*~
"You're my soul mate, and I can't believe we won't be spending the rest of our lives together." - Janice from Friends.

Friends is currently on right now and what she said made me thing of someone so I felt I had to write it. Random.

~*~*~*~
Something else that's random. I HATE when my feet feel dirty. Like right now. I haven't been walking around barefoot, but they just feel dirty. My feet are always an indication that I need to take a shower. Weird right? Even if I have already taken 3 showers, I can't go to bed if my feet feel dirty.

~*~*~*~*
I feel like I'm becoming more and more distant from my classmates. It's like I just don't care anymore. I think I'm realizing that we will soon be going our separate ways.  But at the same time, I've been reconnecting with a lot of my family friends. I dunno, just a thought.

Oh well. That's all for now.

End of a journey

So my natural hair journey has ended! More than three years, and I have now decided to go back to the creamy crack! I did another big chop about 2 months ago, but recently I realized I wanted something different. I loved my fro, but I'm just ready to go back to straight hair. I might go back natural in the future, who knows? I'm ALWAYS changing my hair! I did the relaxer myself. I was REEEALLLY scared my hair was gonna burn off or something, but everything turned out fine. I'm also a fan of short hair, so I went on youtube and tried to figure out how to cut my own hair. It looks good. However, when I go back home, I'm going to find a hairdresser than can give me a better cut.

~*~*~*~*~*~~

Oh! I finally submitted my residency application, and so far I have gotten 2 interviews. Still hoping I get a few more.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Been in search of the perfect suit for my interviews. I found one that I loooove at Dillard's, but it's kind of expensive. $328 is a little more than I wanted to spend on a suit. Hoping I find something else, if not, I might be tempted to buy the suit anyway. I REFUSE to wear a black suit. I'm looking for a brown/tan colored suit, and my pants MUST be a trouser/wide leg. So I pray I find something.

That's all for now!

Updates

I just feel like I need to write. I don't even know what's going on in my life. Just randomness. I went to Miami 2 weeks ago. It was both good and bad. It was nice to get away and experience a new city. Beautiful city, good food, good shopping, and I had the best massage of my life. The best thing I had was the oxtail stew at Puerto Sagua, IT WAS SOOO GOOD! And I loved that all the Cuban restaurants had plantains. However, I did NOT stick to my budget and spent way more than I should have. I did find a reeaally cute purple Cole Haan bag that I am in LOVE with. It has that woven leather look that I love. It was originally $398, but on sale it was $179, so I HAD to get it. I plan on using this bag until I'm able to afford my Bottega Veneta. So what was bad about the trip? Well I went with one of my good friends. We've been friends since high school and this was our first trip together. I feel that after this trip, we might not be good friends anymore. I don't really know how to explain it. I think we aren't as good of friends as I initially thought. One day together was okay, but 4 was almost too much. We don't have as much in common, and there were some character traits she had that made me want to strangle her. I dunno. Only time will tell.

 ~*~*~*~*~

I made my first outfit! I bought some ankara online and made a top and long skirt. It turned our really well, and I'm very proud of myself. I plan on making another outfit within the next month.

 ~*~*~*~*~

Still no boo hahaha. 4 years, still single. However, a certain someone has been creeping into my thoughts lately. He's cute and everything, but I know we don't belong together. He's one of those dangerous guys that makes you push your boundaries. He's very smooth. He dresses well, he's Yoruba, very respectful... fine boy no pimples. lol Our families are actually very close, and there's definitely a mutual attraction, but my spirit tells me that it won't last. So I have to be careful. So I'm just being patient and waiting for God. Well that's all for now.

Busy busy busy.

I thought that once all my exams were over I would have more free time. WRONG!!! I've been soooo busy it's crazy. I'm here, there, every where. I have a feeling things won't calm down until after interview season. We'll see.

Other than that, nothing crazy has really happened.

Still no boo. lol

I don't...

I don't know jack squat about make up. I need help!

When I put make-up on it's just whatever. It doesn't look like I have anything on. This should be a good thing, but I'm usually trying to hide my flaws. My face ends up looking worse when I put makeup on. It should be the other way around. I've tried several foundations. Fashion Fair, Black Opal, Covergirl, and MAC. Fashion fair made me look orange so I stopped that. Covergirl was okay, I recently bought the liquid foundation from HEB. That seems to be more of a sheer coverage/everyday wear. I use black opal every now and then, I'm not exactly sure how I feel about black opal. A few weeks ago I went to MAC and had them color match me. I went to get my makeup done for my residency photos, and the lady did a really good job. My pictures turned out great... BUT I realized in pictures I took myself that the foundation is too yellow. It's the studio fix spf 15, and I also think it dries out my skin. Weird. I will be returning it.

But anyways. I need to learn how to properly apply my make up.

~*~*~*

Realized that I also know nothing about money. I know how to SPEND it, but I don't know much about saving, retirement, IRAs. So I just bought a book by Suze Orman called Young, Fabulous and Broke. I ordered it today on Amazon and I'm excited. I know I need some sort of financial plan. I'm going to have at least $160,000 in med school loans, and I think I have about $8,000 in credit card debt. I want to be debt free as soon as possible. I also want to be able to retire before I'm 60. It would be nice to have vacations homes around the country, and in Nigeria. And I also need to save $$ for my 5 future kids so they can go to college.

I looove spending money, and I have very very expensive taste. It's not that I pick something JUST because it's name brand. I'm somehow attracted to it without even knowing it's name brand/designer. You could put out a pile of bags with no markings, and I will somehow pick the most expensive one. Like a few months ago I went thrift shopping with my mom. EVERY SINGLE ITEM that I picked just happened to be designer. So I just have expensive taste, and I don't want anything to stop me from buying what I want. Which is why I'm trying to educate myself so that I can enjoy my money, while also having a nice nest egg. Physicians are known for making poor financial decisions, and I don't want to be one of them.

~*~*~

I'm going to a wedding this weekend!! I'm excited! Too bad I don't know the people that are getting married. Hahaha. You know how Nigerians do. We just show up to parties and events even though we don't know the celebrant. I don't usually do that. I do however know the bride's father. I've never met his daughter because she's from his previous marriage and lived with her mom.

My parents have never been real party goers, they are more church oriented. I can count how many Nigerian parties I've been to on one hand.

~*~*

I'm a skinny fat person. I eat and eat and eat and eat and eat, but I don't gain weight. When I got to med school I lost 15 pounds, and I've been struggling to gain it all back. It usually doesn't bother me until it's time for me to go back home. Last year I weighed 130 lbs and EVERYONE made comments about my weight. You know how Nigerians can be, they have no filter. One day my aunt came to visit and when I opened the door she says "AH AH!! kilode? Se everything wa okay?" Then she sat me down to have a heart-to-heart in order to investigate my eating habits and stress level. One Sunday, I had on a dress that 'exposed' my clavicles and my dad told me to put on a sweater. He said that I needed to cover myself because I didn't look good. Everyone kept trying to shove food down my throat. I felt HORRIBLE during that time. It's not that I don't eat, I even eat more than most men. I just have a freakishly fast metabolism. I'm now up to about 134 lbs and working to get to at least 140. I eat a lot, but most of it just goes to my belly which isn't good. So yea. haha



This week should be busy, praying that everything goes well.

Weird

I dunnnnno.

I just have this weird feeling. It's not really bad, it's not really good. It's just a feeling I have. We'll see.

1 month until it's time to submit my residency applications. I still have a TON of things to take care of!!!! It's nerve racking. But I'm going to do what I gotta do and leave everything to God.
~*~*~
Still single. Still waiting. Things took a slight unexpected turn, but it's okay.
~*~*~
Not sure if I mentioned this before, but I have a friend who I no longer see as a friend. When I started med school, I made it a goal to be different. I didn't do much in undergrad when it came to socializing and partying. So I saw med school as my time to make new friends and have some fun. Unfortunately, I was forcing myself into the wrong crowd. I met a girl, lets say her name is "Tammy." Well Tammy is a few years older than me and was definitely different. She has this free spirit. I felt that she would be the perfect person to help me discover what I was "missing" in college. Everything was okay at first, so I thought. She introduced me to alcohol, got me drunk, and all that bad stuff. But I can't blame her. It was my fault. My head was not in the right place and I wasn't being true to myself. She became my bff, we did everything together and people started calling us twins. There came a point when I realized she wasn't a true friend. It was a one sided friendship. I realized it got to a point where she wanted me around to support HER and be there to be HER cheerleader. However, she did not want to do those same things for me. She is one of those people that loves to be around you when things are going bad, so that she feels better. But when things are good, she gets the shady attitude.

Eventually, she met a guy. He is someone I don't approve of, and deep down I feel that he is not a good person. They moved in together, got engaged, and will be getting married soon. Since they got together, things became distant between us. I actually liked this because I knew that she wasn't a good influence in my life. The time that we were bffs was one of the lowest points of my life. I behaved in ways that I am ashamed of, I was lazy and didn't focus on my school work like I should have, and worst of all, I distanced myself from God. When I opened my eyes and saw that this was an unfruitful friendship, I realized I needed to make some changes.

The ONLY problem is that she doesn't get it. She won't let go. She has nothing to offer me, and I have nothing to offer her. I realize that being around her is not good for my spirit. Something about her presence drains me of all my energy. I try to do things and drop hints so that she will realize that we aren't "that way" anymore. I thought maybe I could just tell her that I didn't want to be her friend anymore. However, that's not really possible since we are still "close" since we live near each other and are in the same class. I just have to wait. I don't like it, but I guess this is the best way.

I don't think I can describe how frustrating it is. I no longer call, text or contact her in anyway. I need to do what's best for ME. I realized that it's okay for me to be selfish sometimes.

So yea. That's that.

Real Quick

Quick update.

Took my Step 2 CS & CK, which means I'm done with all exams! Well at least until Step 3 after my intern year. However, I still have much to do. Now I need to focus on my personal statement, letters of rec, residency application and interviews. It's crazy! Everything is happening so fast! But I'm excited!.

I'm am so thankful for everything in my life. God has blessed me in so many ways. I don't even know where to begin. Thank You Lord!

Soon...

So, I was totally fine a few minutes ago.

Now I'm suddenly in tears. I don't know what happened. I just started thinking about how I was tired of being single. I've been without a boyfriend for about 4 years now. 4 YEARS!!!!!!! I still can't believe it. If someone told be back in 2007 that I would still be single now, I wouldn't believe them. I honestly don't know how I made it this far. I have to thank God. I know that I've learned many new things about myself in the process. I also know that what I desire in a relationship has changed also. But I'm still frustrated. I don't want to be alone. Everyone wants to be in love. The things that makes it even crazier is that I don't even date. I may meet a guy that likes me, but I usually refuse to go out with them. They also tend to realize that I'm not interested so they stop calling/texting/facebooking lol. I know many people that ask how I expect to meet someone if I don't put myself out there and date. I'm waiting for God. When a guy approaches me, I may not automatically chase them away. I'll give them my # and talk to them a few times. But from the moment they approach me, I start to pray. I ask God if this is my husband, and I ask him to give me a sign. So for many guys I know that he's not the one God picked for me, so I don't even bother going on a date with them. I don't want to waste my time, or his.

So yes. I am frustrated. It is hard to be patient sometimes. Everyone keeps saying "soon." Oh don't worry, you'll find someone soon, maybe after your first year of med school. Oh don't worry, it will be soon, probably after you take your 1st board exam. Soon soon soon. I thought soon basically meant, a short period of time. So I guess it's true if you consider 4 years to be a short period of time.

I know God has a plan and I have faith in him.

Soon.

Last Weekend

Last weekend was a lot of fun.

Went to the wedding of two of my classmates. They are such a cute couple! I wish them the best! The wedding was fun, and it was sort of a mini reunion with the a few of my other classmates. Everyone is on different rotations all over the place, so it was nice seeing some people. I also realized I hadn't been to a wedding since 2008!

Also went to the graduation for the 4th years at my school. It was really nice. I cried a few times. I'm soooo ready for graduation next year. The countdown has definitely begun! OH! and guess who I saw at the graduation? Well remember when I went to that grad reception with my egbon and his friend? Well it was the girl that he was all up on that night. I saw her at first and I knew she looked familiar. I saw her later when I was taking a pic with one of the 4th years and realized that they were friends. I didn't say anything, but now that I think about it I WAS kind of staring at her. lol Whatever. I still think I'm cuter than her. Her booty is bigger than mine, but wurrever. LOL.

Ok. That is all for now.

Long Time

It's been awhile since I've posted something. Lots of interesting things have been happening. Well, I think they're interesting.

Christmas and New Years were good.

I turned 24.

I'm almost done with 3rd yr... only 3 more weeks left.

I've gotten lazier.

I'm getting ready to start applying for residency soon. SCARY!

I'm SUPER broke right now. Haven't been this broke before. My parents are having to give me $$ for gas and food. I was way off with my budgeting last semester and didn't save enough for this semester :(

I got back on twitter last month.

The EX wants me back. I saw him last week and he was trying to hug me all extra tight and stuff. I was like WTF! I was so shocked because he currently has a girlfriend. But he doesn't know that I know that he has a girlfriend. LOL. So how did I find out? Well I was on facebook in December and I commented on a friend's picture. A few seconds later I get a notification that someone else made a comment. So I decided to check out this person's profile. I'm looking through her profile pics and BAM! I see that she's all hugged up and kissy kissy with the EX! I burst into laughter when I saw it. I'm totally cuter than her. So because I have no life, I go to her page every now and then just to see if she has any interesting updates. According to her facebook statuses, they broke up a few months ago and recently got back together. So this is why I was so shocked that the EX was all up on me and asking if we could hang out because I knew that he was in a relationship. Oh well. Now his mom is even talking about me marrying her son. HA! NEVER. He had his chance and I'm moving on to bigger and better things.
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Few months ago I went to hang out with my egbon (my big brother). He is more like a "play brother." Our family's are very close and have known each other for a very long time. I've just never really spent much time talking or hanging out with him. We kind of reconnected in December that day before my birthday when I went to a naming ceremony at his Dad's church. Since then, we chat on facebook every now and then. Nothing major. He has a friend that I think is kind of cute. I was bored one day and decided to add his friend on facebook so that I could get full access to his profile. LOL. Well a few weeks ago my egbon comes to my area to visit and he's like oh I brought my best friend. So I realized that he's probably talking about his cute friend that I'm stalking on facebook so I go meet up with them. We end up at a graduation party for one of his friends and afterwards we go to some weird reggae club. His cute friend WAS there, and I was totally hoping that he would see me and fall in love with me. Well that did NOT happen. At the graduation party he was talking to some girl. She was cute, but I thought I was cuter. LOL. When we went to the reggae club he was all up on some tall tacky looking girl with a big butt. My egbon was even talking to some chic when he KNEW he had a girlfriend back at home. My egbon and his friend ended up bringing both girls back to his friends apt (where they were staying). I was SOOOOOO disgusted. Couldn't believe that those girls left the club with 2 men that they know nothing about. They could have been rapist or killers. And I was so dissapointed in my egbon for bringing random girls back when he KNEW he had a girlfriend. I was also sad cuz my cutie pie crush brought back some tacky girl when I wanted him to talk to me! Seeing that really worried me. I started thinking "JEEZ, are all men like this? and is this what my future boyfriend is going to be doing?"

I eventually brushed it off. Not sure if I will go anywhere with them again. They literally abandoned me so that the could ride home with their ashewos.

I am putting my heart in God's hands. I know that he will not fail me.
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I should totally be studying right now.

Well, ttyl!