Not for me

I'm back home with my family for the month. I'm doing an away rotation in a dermatology clinic. We don't get much exposure to derm so I thought this would be a good chance to learn some new things that may help me in the future.

Well, I HATE dermatology. I think it's boring. They only care about the skin! The doctor I worked with today saw 50 patients between 7 and 12 pm. 50 PATIENTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! in a HALF DAY!!!!!! I'm used to seeing 35 or so patients between 8 and 5pm in internal/fam med/pedi clincs.

Also, I only work 3 half days a week. Nice, but I still don't like it. I found that I kept asking patients about their other medications, diabetes, hypertension, arthritis, and everything else besides their skin. Instead of walking around with a stethoscope, you walk around with a can of liquid nitrogen. When patients had other things going on, the staff was totally clueless. They didn't remember that klonopin was a benzodiazepine, and they didn't remember that metformin could be used for PCOS. This lets me know for sure that family medicine is the place for me. I love family medicine because it's a little bit of everything. I have no problem incorporating derm procedures into my practice, but I'd be unhappy if derm was my only focus. In fact, there were quite a few cases that I felt could have been managed by the primary care physician, but whatever.  Yea, they make more money, but money isn't everything. What matters is that I've picked a career path that makes me happy.

O.M.G.

Oh my goodness!

So I'm totally feeling much better today, back to my happy dancing self.

I get out of the shower and I see a missed call from my dad.

I call back and he says he wants to talk to me about something my sister told them.

So yesterday I told my sister that I was feeling a little down about my no boo situation. Well my sister decided to tell my parents! And my dad says "your sister said that you were sad ALLLLL day after you heard that so and so is pregnant and because you are not married yet." What!? All day? That was NOT the case. I was sad for like 20 minutes! My family is very close and we tell each other almost everything. Thank goodness I didn't tell my sister that I was crying. So my dad went on and on and on and on telling me stuff I've heard several times. I was soooo embarrassed. But I do appreciate that they called to check up on me.

"Be strong, okay"- this is what my dad said before he hung up. haha

I love my family.

Tears

I don't even know...

Tears are falling down my face as I right this. I'm not sure I even understand why I'm crying.

Everything has been going soo well. I've been feeling the happiest I've ever felt in a long time. Everyday I've been singing, dancing and praising God for all that he has done in my life.

And now all of a sudden crying tears of frustration.

Well, I got news that a guy I used to be involved with is having a baby. He's been married for almost 2 years now, and it's been well over 3 years since I've seen him last. I don't like him, I don't love him, and it's not that I miss him. But when I got the news that his wife was expecting, I got warm all over, my heart started to beat faster, and the tears just started to fall.


I'm still single.


I don't even know how to explain what I am feeling inside.


I don't know. I'm ashamed and disappointed in myself for allowing this to upset me.


I'll get over it, I refuse to let this get me down.


My heart is in God's hands, and my time will come.