So, I was totally fine a few minutes ago.
Now I'm suddenly in tears. I don't know what happened. I just started thinking about how I was tired of being single. I've been without a boyfriend for about 4 years now. 4 YEARS!!!!!!! I still can't believe it. If someone told be back in 2007 that I would still be single now, I wouldn't believe them. I honestly don't know how I made it this far. I have to thank God. I know that I've learned many new things about myself in the process. I also know that what I desire in a relationship has changed also. But I'm still frustrated. I don't want to be alone. Everyone wants to be in love. The things that makes it even crazier is that I don't even date. I may meet a guy that likes me, but I usually refuse to go out with them. They also tend to realize that I'm not interested so they stop calling/texting/facebooking lol. I know many people that ask how I expect to meet someone if I don't put myself out there and date. I'm waiting for God. When a guy approaches me, I may not automatically chase them away. I'll give them my # and talk to them a few times. But from the moment they approach me, I start to pray. I ask God if this is my husband, and I ask him to give me a sign. So for many guys I know that he's not the one God picked for me, so I don't even bother going on a date with them. I don't want to waste my time, or his.
So yes. I am frustrated. It is hard to be patient sometimes. Everyone keeps saying "soon." Oh don't worry, you'll find someone soon, maybe after your first year of med school. Oh don't worry, it will be soon, probably after you take your 1st board exam. Soon soon soon. I thought soon basically meant, a short period of time. So I guess it's true if you consider 4 years to be a short period of time.
I know God has a plan and I have faith in him.
Soon.
