I was doing sooooo well!!! I was okay with being single. I've been feeling fierce and fabulous for the past couple of months. Now all of a sudden I've got the single female blues! FAIL. Mr. Banana got married like 2 weeks ago and I was totally ok with it. I don't have feelings for him or anything so it's not like I was sad that he was getting married. I got a gift for him and the bride (something my friends said I shouldn't have done) and I was feeling totally ok. Today he sent me a text saying thanks for the gift. I asked how it felt to be married and he said it was great. And then all of a sudden I just started feeling exxxxtra lonely. Then I started day dreaming about being married, having someone to hold, kiss, share your life with etc. I mean I'm always daydreaming about that stuff.... but today it just kind of hurt for some reason. I'm starting to get restless. Everywhere I go, I wonder if I'm about to bump into my future husband. It's really sad. Really really sad. I wish the feeling would go AWAY, but I can't seem to control it anymore. Maybe after med school, during residency? Sigh. Oh well, I better suck it up and go on about my business.
I started reading that book, I Kissed Dating Goodbye, I think it's by Josh Harris. I wish I had read this book before I started high school. It would have save me from a lot of drama, heart ache and pain. I don't 100% agree with everything I've read so far, but he does have some pretty valid points.
I just need to do better.
