Busy busy busy.

I thought that once all my exams were over I would have more free time. WRONG!!! I've been soooo busy it's crazy. I'm here, there, every where. I have a feeling things won't calm down until after interview season. We'll see.

Other than that, nothing crazy has really happened.

Still no boo. lol

I don't...

I don't know jack squat about make up. I need help!

When I put make-up on it's just whatever. It doesn't look like I have anything on. This should be a good thing, but I'm usually trying to hide my flaws. My face ends up looking worse when I put makeup on. It should be the other way around. I've tried several foundations. Fashion Fair, Black Opal, Covergirl, and MAC. Fashion fair made me look orange so I stopped that. Covergirl was okay, I recently bought the liquid foundation from HEB. That seems to be more of a sheer coverage/everyday wear. I use black opal every now and then, I'm not exactly sure how I feel about black opal. A few weeks ago I went to MAC and had them color match me. I went to get my makeup done for my residency photos, and the lady did a really good job. My pictures turned out great... BUT I realized in pictures I took myself that the foundation is too yellow. It's the studio fix spf 15, and I also think it dries out my skin. Weird. I will be returning it.

But anyways. I need to learn how to properly apply my make up.

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Realized that I also know nothing about money. I know how to SPEND it, but I don't know much about saving, retirement, IRAs. So I just bought a book by Suze Orman called Young, Fabulous and Broke. I ordered it today on Amazon and I'm excited. I know I need some sort of financial plan. I'm going to have at least $160,000 in med school loans, and I think I have about $8,000 in credit card debt. I want to be debt free as soon as possible. I also want to be able to retire before I'm 60. It would be nice to have vacations homes around the country, and in Nigeria. And I also need to save $$ for my 5 future kids so they can go to college.

I looove spending money, and I have very very expensive taste. It's not that I pick something JUST because it's name brand. I'm somehow attracted to it without even knowing it's name brand/designer. You could put out a pile of bags with no markings, and I will somehow pick the most expensive one. Like a few months ago I went thrift shopping with my mom. EVERY SINGLE ITEM that I picked just happened to be designer. So I just have expensive taste, and I don't want anything to stop me from buying what I want. Which is why I'm trying to educate myself so that I can enjoy my money, while also having a nice nest egg. Physicians are known for making poor financial decisions, and I don't want to be one of them.

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I'm going to a wedding this weekend!! I'm excited! Too bad I don't know the people that are getting married. Hahaha. You know how Nigerians do. We just show up to parties and events even though we don't know the celebrant. I don't usually do that. I do however know the bride's father. I've never met his daughter because she's from his previous marriage and lived with her mom.

My parents have never been real party goers, they are more church oriented. I can count how many Nigerian parties I've been to on one hand.

~*~*

I'm a skinny fat person. I eat and eat and eat and eat and eat, but I don't gain weight. When I got to med school I lost 15 pounds, and I've been struggling to gain it all back. It usually doesn't bother me until it's time for me to go back home. Last year I weighed 130 lbs and EVERYONE made comments about my weight. You know how Nigerians can be, they have no filter. One day my aunt came to visit and when I opened the door she says "AH AH!! kilode? Se everything wa okay?" Then she sat me down to have a heart-to-heart in order to investigate my eating habits and stress level. One Sunday, I had on a dress that 'exposed' my clavicles and my dad told me to put on a sweater. He said that I needed to cover myself because I didn't look good. Everyone kept trying to shove food down my throat. I felt HORRIBLE during that time. It's not that I don't eat, I even eat more than most men. I just have a freakishly fast metabolism. I'm now up to about 134 lbs and working to get to at least 140. I eat a lot, but most of it just goes to my belly which isn't good. So yea. haha



This week should be busy, praying that everything goes well.

Weird

I dunnnnno.

I just have this weird feeling. It's not really bad, it's not really good. It's just a feeling I have. We'll see.

1 month until it's time to submit my residency applications. I still have a TON of things to take care of!!!! It's nerve racking. But I'm going to do what I gotta do and leave everything to God.
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Still single. Still waiting. Things took a slight unexpected turn, but it's okay.
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Not sure if I mentioned this before, but I have a friend who I no longer see as a friend. When I started med school, I made it a goal to be different. I didn't do much in undergrad when it came to socializing and partying. So I saw med school as my time to make new friends and have some fun. Unfortunately, I was forcing myself into the wrong crowd. I met a girl, lets say her name is "Tammy." Well Tammy is a few years older than me and was definitely different. She has this free spirit. I felt that she would be the perfect person to help me discover what I was "missing" in college. Everything was okay at first, so I thought. She introduced me to alcohol, got me drunk, and all that bad stuff. But I can't blame her. It was my fault. My head was not in the right place and I wasn't being true to myself. She became my bff, we did everything together and people started calling us twins. There came a point when I realized she wasn't a true friend. It was a one sided friendship. I realized it got to a point where she wanted me around to support HER and be there to be HER cheerleader. However, she did not want to do those same things for me. She is one of those people that loves to be around you when things are going bad, so that she feels better. But when things are good, she gets the shady attitude.

Eventually, she met a guy. He is someone I don't approve of, and deep down I feel that he is not a good person. They moved in together, got engaged, and will be getting married soon. Since they got together, things became distant between us. I actually liked this because I knew that she wasn't a good influence in my life. The time that we were bffs was one of the lowest points of my life. I behaved in ways that I am ashamed of, I was lazy and didn't focus on my school work like I should have, and worst of all, I distanced myself from God. When I opened my eyes and saw that this was an unfruitful friendship, I realized I needed to make some changes.

The ONLY problem is that she doesn't get it. She won't let go. She has nothing to offer me, and I have nothing to offer her. I realize that being around her is not good for my spirit. Something about her presence drains me of all my energy. I try to do things and drop hints so that she will realize that we aren't "that way" anymore. I thought maybe I could just tell her that I didn't want to be her friend anymore. However, that's not really possible since we are still "close" since we live near each other and are in the same class. I just have to wait. I don't like it, but I guess this is the best way.

I don't think I can describe how frustrating it is. I no longer call, text or contact her in anyway. I need to do what's best for ME. I realized that it's okay for me to be selfish sometimes.

So yea. That's that.

Real Quick

Quick update.

Took my Step 2 CS & CK, which means I'm done with all exams! Well at least until Step 3 after my intern year. However, I still have much to do. Now I need to focus on my personal statement, letters of rec, residency application and interviews. It's crazy! Everything is happening so fast! But I'm excited!.

I'm am so thankful for everything in my life. God has blessed me in so many ways. I don't even know where to begin. Thank You Lord!

Soon...

So, I was totally fine a few minutes ago.

Now I'm suddenly in tears. I don't know what happened. I just started thinking about how I was tired of being single. I've been without a boyfriend for about 4 years now. 4 YEARS!!!!!!! I still can't believe it. If someone told be back in 2007 that I would still be single now, I wouldn't believe them. I honestly don't know how I made it this far. I have to thank God. I know that I've learned many new things about myself in the process. I also know that what I desire in a relationship has changed also. But I'm still frustrated. I don't want to be alone. Everyone wants to be in love. The things that makes it even crazier is that I don't even date. I may meet a guy that likes me, but I usually refuse to go out with them. They also tend to realize that I'm not interested so they stop calling/texting/facebooking lol. I know many people that ask how I expect to meet someone if I don't put myself out there and date. I'm waiting for God. When a guy approaches me, I may not automatically chase them away. I'll give them my # and talk to them a few times. But from the moment they approach me, I start to pray. I ask God if this is my husband, and I ask him to give me a sign. So for many guys I know that he's not the one God picked for me, so I don't even bother going on a date with them. I don't want to waste my time, or his.

So yes. I am frustrated. It is hard to be patient sometimes. Everyone keeps saying "soon." Oh don't worry, you'll find someone soon, maybe after your first year of med school. Oh don't worry, it will be soon, probably after you take your 1st board exam. Soon soon soon. I thought soon basically meant, a short period of time. So I guess it's true if you consider 4 years to be a short period of time.

I know God has a plan and I have faith in him.

Soon.

Last Weekend

Last weekend was a lot of fun.

Went to the wedding of two of my classmates. They are such a cute couple! I wish them the best! The wedding was fun, and it was sort of a mini reunion with the a few of my other classmates. Everyone is on different rotations all over the place, so it was nice seeing some people. I also realized I hadn't been to a wedding since 2008!

Also went to the graduation for the 4th years at my school. It was really nice. I cried a few times. I'm soooo ready for graduation next year. The countdown has definitely begun! OH! and guess who I saw at the graduation? Well remember when I went to that grad reception with my egbon and his friend? Well it was the girl that he was all up on that night. I saw her at first and I knew she looked familiar. I saw her later when I was taking a pic with one of the 4th years and realized that they were friends. I didn't say anything, but now that I think about it I WAS kind of staring at her. lol Whatever. I still think I'm cuter than her. Her booty is bigger than mine, but wurrever. LOL.

Ok. That is all for now.

Long Time

It's been awhile since I've posted something. Lots of interesting things have been happening. Well, I think they're interesting.

Christmas and New Years were good.

I turned 24.

I'm almost done with 3rd yr... only 3 more weeks left.

I've gotten lazier.

I'm getting ready to start applying for residency soon. SCARY!

I'm SUPER broke right now. Haven't been this broke before. My parents are having to give me $$ for gas and food. I was way off with my budgeting last semester and didn't save enough for this semester :(

I got back on twitter last month.

The EX wants me back. I saw him last week and he was trying to hug me all extra tight and stuff. I was like WTF! I was so shocked because he currently has a girlfriend. But he doesn't know that I know that he has a girlfriend. LOL. So how did I find out? Well I was on facebook in December and I commented on a friend's picture. A few seconds later I get a notification that someone else made a comment. So I decided to check out this person's profile. I'm looking through her profile pics and BAM! I see that she's all hugged up and kissy kissy with the EX! I burst into laughter when I saw it. I'm totally cuter than her. So because I have no life, I go to her page every now and then just to see if she has any interesting updates. According to her facebook statuses, they broke up a few months ago and recently got back together. So this is why I was so shocked that the EX was all up on me and asking if we could hang out because I knew that he was in a relationship. Oh well. Now his mom is even talking about me marrying her son. HA! NEVER. He had his chance and I'm moving on to bigger and better things.
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Few months ago I went to hang out with my egbon (my big brother). He is more like a "play brother." Our family's are very close and have known each other for a very long time. I've just never really spent much time talking or hanging out with him. We kind of reconnected in December that day before my birthday when I went to a naming ceremony at his Dad's church. Since then, we chat on facebook every now and then. Nothing major. He has a friend that I think is kind of cute. I was bored one day and decided to add his friend on facebook so that I could get full access to his profile. LOL. Well a few weeks ago my egbon comes to my area to visit and he's like oh I brought my best friend. So I realized that he's probably talking about his cute friend that I'm stalking on facebook so I go meet up with them. We end up at a graduation party for one of his friends and afterwards we go to some weird reggae club. His cute friend WAS there, and I was totally hoping that he would see me and fall in love with me. Well that did NOT happen. At the graduation party he was talking to some girl. She was cute, but I thought I was cuter. LOL. When we went to the reggae club he was all up on some tall tacky looking girl with a big butt. My egbon was even talking to some chic when he KNEW he had a girlfriend back at home. My egbon and his friend ended up bringing both girls back to his friends apt (where they were staying). I was SOOOOOO disgusted. Couldn't believe that those girls left the club with 2 men that they know nothing about. They could have been rapist or killers. And I was so dissapointed in my egbon for bringing random girls back when he KNEW he had a girlfriend. I was also sad cuz my cutie pie crush brought back some tacky girl when I wanted him to talk to me! Seeing that really worried me. I started thinking "JEEZ, are all men like this? and is this what my future boyfriend is going to be doing?"

I eventually brushed it off. Not sure if I will go anywhere with them again. They literally abandoned me so that the could ride home with their ashewos.

I am putting my heart in God's hands. I know that he will not fail me.
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I should totally be studying right now.

Well, ttyl!