Soon...

So, I was totally fine a few minutes ago.

Now I'm suddenly in tears. I don't know what happened. I just started thinking about how I was tired of being single. I've been without a boyfriend for about 4 years now. 4 YEARS!!!!!!! I still can't believe it. If someone told be back in 2007 that I would still be single now, I wouldn't believe them. I honestly don't know how I made it this far. I have to thank God. I know that I've learned many new things about myself in the process. I also know that what I desire in a relationship has changed also. But I'm still frustrated. I don't want to be alone. Everyone wants to be in love. The things that makes it even crazier is that I don't even date. I may meet a guy that likes me, but I usually refuse to go out with them. They also tend to realize that I'm not interested so they stop calling/texting/facebooking lol. I know many people that ask how I expect to meet someone if I don't put myself out there and date. I'm waiting for God. When a guy approaches me, I may not automatically chase them away. I'll give them my # and talk to them a few times. But from the moment they approach me, I start to pray. I ask God if this is my husband, and I ask him to give me a sign. So for many guys I know that he's not the one God picked for me, so I don't even bother going on a date with them. I don't want to waste my time, or his.

So yes. I am frustrated. It is hard to be patient sometimes. Everyone keeps saying "soon." Oh don't worry, you'll find someone soon, maybe after your first year of med school. Oh don't worry, it will be soon, probably after you take your 1st board exam. Soon soon soon. I thought soon basically meant, a short period of time. So I guess it's true if you consider 4 years to be a short period of time.

I know God has a plan and I have faith in him.

Soon.

Last Weekend

Last weekend was a lot of fun.

Went to the wedding of two of my classmates. They are such a cute couple! I wish them the best! The wedding was fun, and it was sort of a mini reunion with the a few of my other classmates. Everyone is on different rotations all over the place, so it was nice seeing some people. I also realized I hadn't been to a wedding since 2008!

Also went to the graduation for the 4th years at my school. It was really nice. I cried a few times. I'm soooo ready for graduation next year. The countdown has definitely begun! OH! and guess who I saw at the graduation? Well remember when I went to that grad reception with my egbon and his friend? Well it was the girl that he was all up on that night. I saw her at first and I knew she looked familiar. I saw her later when I was taking a pic with one of the 4th years and realized that they were friends. I didn't say anything, but now that I think about it I WAS kind of staring at her. lol Whatever. I still think I'm cuter than her. Her booty is bigger than mine, but wurrever. LOL.

Ok. That is all for now.

Long Time

It's been awhile since I've posted something. Lots of interesting things have been happening. Well, I think they're interesting.

Christmas and New Years were good.

I turned 24.

I'm almost done with 3rd yr... only 3 more weeks left.

I've gotten lazier.

I'm getting ready to start applying for residency soon. SCARY!

I'm SUPER broke right now. Haven't been this broke before. My parents are having to give me $$ for gas and food. I was way off with my budgeting last semester and didn't save enough for this semester :(

I got back on twitter last month.

The EX wants me back. I saw him last week and he was trying to hug me all extra tight and stuff. I was like WTF! I was so shocked because he currently has a girlfriend. But he doesn't know that I know that he has a girlfriend. LOL. So how did I find out? Well I was on facebook in December and I commented on a friend's picture. A few seconds later I get a notification that someone else made a comment. So I decided to check out this person's profile. I'm looking through her profile pics and BAM! I see that she's all hugged up and kissy kissy with the EX! I burst into laughter when I saw it. I'm totally cuter than her. So because I have no life, I go to her page every now and then just to see if she has any interesting updates. According to her facebook statuses, they broke up a few months ago and recently got back together. So this is why I was so shocked that the EX was all up on me and asking if we could hang out because I knew that he was in a relationship. Oh well. Now his mom is even talking about me marrying her son. HA! NEVER. He had his chance and I'm moving on to bigger and better things.
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Few months ago I went to hang out with my egbon (my big brother). He is more like a "play brother." Our family's are very close and have known each other for a very long time. I've just never really spent much time talking or hanging out with him. We kind of reconnected in December that day before my birthday when I went to a naming ceremony at his Dad's church. Since then, we chat on facebook every now and then. Nothing major. He has a friend that I think is kind of cute. I was bored one day and decided to add his friend on facebook so that I could get full access to his profile. LOL. Well a few weeks ago my egbon comes to my area to visit and he's like oh I brought my best friend. So I realized that he's probably talking about his cute friend that I'm stalking on facebook so I go meet up with them. We end up at a graduation party for one of his friends and afterwards we go to some weird reggae club. His cute friend WAS there, and I was totally hoping that he would see me and fall in love with me. Well that did NOT happen. At the graduation party he was talking to some girl. She was cute, but I thought I was cuter. LOL. When we went to the reggae club he was all up on some tall tacky looking girl with a big butt. My egbon was even talking to some chic when he KNEW he had a girlfriend back at home. My egbon and his friend ended up bringing both girls back to his friends apt (where they were staying). I was SOOOOOO disgusted. Couldn't believe that those girls left the club with 2 men that they know nothing about. They could have been rapist or killers. And I was so dissapointed in my egbon for bringing random girls back when he KNEW he had a girlfriend. I was also sad cuz my cutie pie crush brought back some tacky girl when I wanted him to talk to me! Seeing that really worried me. I started thinking "JEEZ, are all men like this? and is this what my future boyfriend is going to be doing?"

I eventually brushed it off. Not sure if I will go anywhere with them again. They literally abandoned me so that the could ride home with their ashewos.

I am putting my heart in God's hands. I know that he will not fail me.
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I should totally be studying right now.

Well, ttyl!

Update

Tomorrow is my last day of pedi inpatient!! yay!

But it made me realize I loooove babies! Can't wait till I have one.

My car is broken. Last person that said they were gonna fix it only fixed half of it. So I'm hoping it will get TOTALLY fixed before I go home next weekend. I'm soooo happy to be going back home!!!

I need money... so I can shop shop shop. I need a bigger closet. This little hole in the wall I have right now is NOT cuttin it!

I'm doin good. Feeling good. I'm happy.

: )

Really?

Soooo. The other day I'm just minding my business in the Pedi Endocrine office and I get a phone call. It was my friend saying that her bf found a Nigerian guy for me. So her bf thinks I'm like super lonely, and thinks that it's really sad that I've been single for 3ish years, so he was TRYING to help me out. So I ask her what he looks like. And she's like I dunno. She wanted me to DRIVE down to her bf job so that I could accidentally run into the guy. UMMMMM NO. I don't do that and I'm not that desperate. So I tell her to tell her bf to take a pic. I wasn't expecting much, about a minute later, I get the picture............................................................

All I could say was eeew. He was NOT attractive in any way shape of form. I was actually offended when I saw the picture. He said he was 24, but he like 44. It was a mess. I could NOT believe he thought I would date someone like that.


Anyways, I don't know what has gotten in to me lately. I've been shopping WAAAAY to much. I'm going to struggle and not spend anything until Christmas time. Let's see how well that goes.

DANG!!

I was doing sooooo well!!! I was okay with being single. I've been feeling fierce and fabulous for the past couple of months. Now all of a sudden I've got the single female blues! FAIL. Mr. Banana got married like 2 weeks ago and I was totally ok with it. I don't have feelings for him or anything so it's not like I was sad that he was getting married. I got a gift for him and the bride (something my friends said I shouldn't have done) and I was feeling totally ok. Today he sent me a text saying thanks for the gift. I asked how it felt to be married and he said it was great. And then all of a sudden I just started feeling exxxxtra lonely. Then I started day dreaming about being married, having someone to hold, kiss, share your life with etc. I mean I'm always daydreaming about that stuff.... but today it just kind of hurt for some reason. I'm starting to get restless. Everywhere I go, I wonder if I'm about to bump into my future husband. It's really sad. Really really sad. I wish the feeling would go AWAY, but I can't seem to control it anymore. Maybe after med school, during residency? Sigh. Oh well, I better suck it up and go on about my business.

I started reading that book, I Kissed Dating Goodbye, I think it's by Josh Harris. I wish I had read this book before I started high school. It would have save me from a lot of drama, heart ache and pain. I don't 100% agree with everything I've read so far, but he does have some pretty valid points.

I just need to do better.

Just whatever

so yea. I'm back home now for my family med rotation. Feels good to be home. I've gained 4 lbs and I've only been home for 1 week.

Just been feeling like whatever lately. Feeling really tired and lazy right now.

I'm still waiting. Don't know when it's going to happen. Don't know where I'm going to meet him. I'm just waiting. Going about my business, and taking things one day at a time. But every now and then I just get that feeling. Like it would be nice to have someone to go the movies with, or have someone to cuddle with. Sometimes I miss having those late night conversations when you first meet a guy. Sometimes I wonder what he's going to look like. How tall is he going to be? Will I be swept of my feet? I have no idea. I just have to wait and see what God has in store for me.

So yea.