9 years!!!!!!

I know a girl who has been dating a guy for 9 years! Well, she's not a girl, she a woman in a her late 20s. I don't think I could do that. 9 YEARS!!! Things looked a little iffy, and it didn't really look like their relationship was going towards marriage. By looking at them together I felt that if they DID get married it would probably end in divorce. I know that is a horrible thing to say, but I'm being honest. This lady is very beautiful inside and out, smart, hard-working, and with a good career. The guy is...... ummm eh. When I first met her I thought she was sooo fabulous, definitely a role model. I remember seeing some scraggly dude with her, and when she introduced him as her boyfriend I was like "noooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!." I met her about 2 years ago and she was ready for him to put a ring on it. Now they broke up. There is nooooooo way I would be able to stay in a relationship that long without some promise of marriage. 9 freaking years!!!!!! AH AH!!!

I mean I understand that there are special circumstances. Sometimes you're too young, or sometimes you're still in school, or maybe it's a long distance thing.

For example, I have an aunty who went to school to become a doctor of pharmacy. Her husband also was in medical school. They met in their late 20s and were also a little late to go to school and get their degrees. These two dated for a looooooong time.  However everyone knew they were going to get married. The minute they finished school, they got married and had a son.

I was watching Say Yes to the Dress on TLC, and I saw a 50 something year old bride that had been engaged for almost 25 years!!!!!  They had lots of problems and illness in the family and they kept pushing back their wedding. CRAZY!!!!!

My goodness!!!!

I think it's different if you KNOW that you two are going to get married, as opposed to one person in the relathionship HOPING that there will be a proposal.

I told my mom and she said it's because the guy is an Akata (the girl is Nigerian). I'm not even gonna go there. lol.

GUESS WHAT!

They're back together again. Yes. For the 4th time. Why do I care? I really don't. I'm just bored and find it interesting to check up on them.  Pathetic? Yes, I'm pathetic. haha

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I don't know what it is... but I really struggle with keeping my apartment clean. It always amazes my how many dishes and pots I use. Things just end up all over the place. I think I need a bigger place. My closet is DEFINITELY too small. I think that if my closet were bigger I would have less clothes, shoes, purses and such in random places in my apartment. My closet is one of those small old school closets with the sliding mirrors. And I have a TON of clothes. I've tried keeping some under my bed in storage. I have storage bins in my room. I even bought this shelf thing to put more clothes on. I've even had to take some of my clothes back home to make more room. Conclusion: I NEED A BIGGER CLOSET!!

My kitchen is also too small. No counter top space at all. And my bathroom doesn't have enough storage space. I have a pedestal sink, which I love, but I think it would be better if I had an actual counter top. I just need more space. OH! and I NEEEEEEEEED a dishwasher. I realized that I HATE washing dishes! I dunno, maybe I'm just getting lazier. I'm ready to move.

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"You're my soul mate, and I can't believe we won't be spending the rest of our lives together." - Janice from Friends.

Friends is currently on right now and what she said made me thing of someone so I felt I had to write it. Random.

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Something else that's random. I HATE when my feet feel dirty. Like right now. I haven't been walking around barefoot, but they just feel dirty. My feet are always an indication that I need to take a shower. Weird right? Even if I have already taken 3 showers, I can't go to bed if my feet feel dirty.

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I feel like I'm becoming more and more distant from my classmates. It's like I just don't care anymore. I think I'm realizing that we will soon be going our separate ways.  But at the same time, I've been reconnecting with a lot of my family friends. I dunno, just a thought.

Oh well. That's all for now.

End of a journey

So my natural hair journey has ended! More than three years, and I have now decided to go back to the creamy crack! I did another big chop about 2 months ago, but recently I realized I wanted something different. I loved my fro, but I'm just ready to go back to straight hair. I might go back natural in the future, who knows? I'm ALWAYS changing my hair! I did the relaxer myself. I was REEEALLLY scared my hair was gonna burn off or something, but everything turned out fine. I'm also a fan of short hair, so I went on youtube and tried to figure out how to cut my own hair. It looks good. However, when I go back home, I'm going to find a hairdresser than can give me a better cut.

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Oh! I finally submitted my residency application, and so far I have gotten 2 interviews. Still hoping I get a few more.

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Been in search of the perfect suit for my interviews. I found one that I loooove at Dillard's, but it's kind of expensive. $328 is a little more than I wanted to spend on a suit. Hoping I find something else, if not, I might be tempted to buy the suit anyway. I REFUSE to wear a black suit. I'm looking for a brown/tan colored suit, and my pants MUST be a trouser/wide leg. So I pray I find something.

That's all for now!

Updates

I just feel like I need to write. I don't even know what's going on in my life. Just randomness. I went to Miami 2 weeks ago. It was both good and bad. It was nice to get away and experience a new city. Beautiful city, good food, good shopping, and I had the best massage of my life. The best thing I had was the oxtail stew at Puerto Sagua, IT WAS SOOO GOOD! And I loved that all the Cuban restaurants had plantains. However, I did NOT stick to my budget and spent way more than I should have. I did find a reeaally cute purple Cole Haan bag that I am in LOVE with. It has that woven leather look that I love. It was originally $398, but on sale it was $179, so I HAD to get it. I plan on using this bag until I'm able to afford my Bottega Veneta. So what was bad about the trip? Well I went with one of my good friends. We've been friends since high school and this was our first trip together. I feel that after this trip, we might not be good friends anymore. I don't really know how to explain it. I think we aren't as good of friends as I initially thought. One day together was okay, but 4 was almost too much. We don't have as much in common, and there were some character traits she had that made me want to strangle her. I dunno. Only time will tell.

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I made my first outfit! I bought some ankara online and made a top and long skirt. It turned our really well, and I'm very proud of myself. I plan on making another outfit within the next month.

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Still no boo hahaha. 4 years, still single. However, a certain someone has been creeping into my thoughts lately. He's cute and everything, but I know we don't belong together. He's one of those dangerous guys that makes you push your boundaries. He's very smooth. He dresses well, he's Yoruba, very respectful... fine boy no pimples. lol Our families are actually very close, and there's definitely a mutual attraction, but my spirit tells me that it won't last. So I have to be careful. So I'm just being patient and waiting for God. Well that's all for now.

Busy busy busy.

I thought that once all my exams were over I would have more free time. WRONG!!! I've been soooo busy it's crazy. I'm here, there, every where. I have a feeling things won't calm down until after interview season. We'll see.

Other than that, nothing crazy has really happened.

Still no boo. lol

I don't...

I don't know jack squat about make up. I need help!

When I put make-up on it's just whatever. It doesn't look like I have anything on. This should be a good thing, but I'm usually trying to hide my flaws. My face ends up looking worse when I put makeup on. It should be the other way around. I've tried several foundations. Fashion Fair, Black Opal, Covergirl, and MAC. Fashion fair made me look orange so I stopped that. Covergirl was okay, I recently bought the liquid foundation from HEB. That seems to be more of a sheer coverage/everyday wear. I use black opal every now and then, I'm not exactly sure how I feel about black opal. A few weeks ago I went to MAC and had them color match me. I went to get my makeup done for my residency photos, and the lady did a really good job. My pictures turned out great... BUT I realized in pictures I took myself that the foundation is too yellow. It's the studio fix spf 15, and I also think it dries out my skin. Weird. I will be returning it.

But anyways. I need to learn how to properly apply my make up.

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Realized that I also know nothing about money. I know how to SPEND it, but I don't know much about saving, retirement, IRAs. So I just bought a book by Suze Orman called Young, Fabulous and Broke. I ordered it today on Amazon and I'm excited. I know I need some sort of financial plan. I'm going to have at least $160,000 in med school loans, and I think I have about $8,000 in credit card debt. I want to be debt free as soon as possible. I also want to be able to retire before I'm 60. It would be nice to have vacations homes around the country, and in Nigeria. And I also need to save $$ for my 5 future kids so they can go to college.

I looove spending money, and I have very very expensive taste. It's not that I pick something JUST because it's name brand. I'm somehow attracted to it without even knowing it's name brand/designer. You could put out a pile of bags with no markings, and I will somehow pick the most expensive one. Like a few months ago I went thrift shopping with my mom. EVERY SINGLE ITEM that I picked just happened to be designer. So I just have expensive taste, and I don't want anything to stop me from buying what I want. Which is why I'm trying to educate myself so that I can enjoy my money, while also having a nice nest egg. Physicians are known for making poor financial decisions, and I don't want to be one of them.

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I'm going to a wedding this weekend!! I'm excited! Too bad I don't know the people that are getting married. Hahaha. You know how Nigerians do. We just show up to parties and events even though we don't know the celebrant. I don't usually do that. I do however know the bride's father. I've never met his daughter because she's from his previous marriage and lived with her mom.

My parents have never been real party goers, they are more church oriented. I can count how many Nigerian parties I've been to on one hand.

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I'm a skinny fat person. I eat and eat and eat and eat and eat, but I don't gain weight. When I got to med school I lost 15 pounds, and I've been struggling to gain it all back. It usually doesn't bother me until it's time for me to go back home. Last year I weighed 130 lbs and EVERYONE made comments about my weight. You know how Nigerians can be, they have no filter. One day my aunt came to visit and when I opened the door she says "AH AH!! kilode? Se everything wa okay?" Then she sat me down to have a heart-to-heart in order to investigate my eating habits and stress level. One Sunday, I had on a dress that 'exposed' my clavicles and my dad told me to put on a sweater. He said that I needed to cover myself because I didn't look good. Everyone kept trying to shove food down my throat. I felt HORRIBLE during that time. It's not that I don't eat, I even eat more than most men. I just have a freakishly fast metabolism. I'm now up to about 134 lbs and working to get to at least 140. I eat a lot, but most of it just goes to my belly which isn't good. So yea. haha



This week should be busy, praying that everything goes well.

Weird

I dunnnnno.

I just have this weird feeling. It's not really bad, it's not really good. It's just a feeling I have. We'll see.

1 month until it's time to submit my residency applications. I still have a TON of things to take care of!!!! It's nerve racking. But I'm going to do what I gotta do and leave everything to God.
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Still single. Still waiting. Things took a slight unexpected turn, but it's okay.
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Not sure if I mentioned this before, but I have a friend who I no longer see as a friend. When I started med school, I made it a goal to be different. I didn't do much in undergrad when it came to socializing and partying. So I saw med school as my time to make new friends and have some fun. Unfortunately, I was forcing myself into the wrong crowd. I met a girl, lets say her name is "Tammy." Well Tammy is a few years older than me and was definitely different. She has this free spirit. I felt that she would be the perfect person to help me discover what I was "missing" in college. Everything was okay at first, so I thought. She introduced me to alcohol, got me drunk, and all that bad stuff. But I can't blame her. It was my fault. My head was not in the right place and I wasn't being true to myself. She became my bff, we did everything together and people started calling us twins. There came a point when I realized she wasn't a true friend. It was a one sided friendship. I realized it got to a point where she wanted me around to support HER and be there to be HER cheerleader. However, she did not want to do those same things for me. She is one of those people that loves to be around you when things are going bad, so that she feels better. But when things are good, she gets the shady attitude.

Eventually, she met a guy. He is someone I don't approve of, and deep down I feel that he is not a good person. They moved in together, got engaged, and will be getting married soon. Since they got together, things became distant between us. I actually liked this because I knew that she wasn't a good influence in my life. The time that we were bffs was one of the lowest points of my life. I behaved in ways that I am ashamed of, I was lazy and didn't focus on my school work like I should have, and worst of all, I distanced myself from God. When I opened my eyes and saw that this was an unfruitful friendship, I realized I needed to make some changes.

The ONLY problem is that she doesn't get it. She won't let go. She has nothing to offer me, and I have nothing to offer her. I realize that being around her is not good for my spirit. Something about her presence drains me of all my energy. I try to do things and drop hints so that she will realize that we aren't "that way" anymore. I thought maybe I could just tell her that I didn't want to be her friend anymore. However, that's not really possible since we are still "close" since we live near each other and are in the same class. I just have to wait. I don't like it, but I guess this is the best way.

I don't think I can describe how frustrating it is. I no longer call, text or contact her in anyway. I need to do what's best for ME. I realized that it's okay for me to be selfish sometimes.

So yea. That's that.